A Skull to Pick
by VinylSolution
Summary: Morgana's back to his old habits by being passive aggressive to Ryuji. But will the team's plan squash this beef for good? Thank you to @Nierville for help with editing.


The Phantom Thieves sped down the railways of Mementos, the wails of the public echoing down the halls. Mona, who was currently acting as the team's van, was already planning ahead. They would be able to tackle another shadow thanks to the team's strategies, but they were running low on vanish balls and SP restore items. Something to worry about, he thought. He could feel the butt of every teammate, every foot, every shift in their seat. It was fun moving so fast, but being a van felt weird sometimes. Something felt off….where was Lady Ann's butt?

And then he felt it. The spot next to where Lady Ann was felt heavier. "Skull, tell me more about your day in track~" Panther giggled, sitting on his lap. What?!, Mona thought. Is she flirting with that...that...stupid, worthless, useless, pathetic, pointless, monkey?! "Are you okay, Mona?" Queen tightened her grip on the steering wheel. "Your headlights just flashed."

"I-i'm fine! Mmmrh…" Mona grumbled. He was steaming, his engine heating up with anger. How could Lady Ann make such a horrible mistake? He must have done something to her, because the noble Lady Ann would never mix herself with a vulgar beast like him!

"Forward, Mona!" Oracle pointed forward towards the large black shadowy figure ahead of them. Mona grumbled and revved his engine, charging forward, hitting the black figure fell apart and split into 2 figures. Everyone got out of Mona as he reverted from a van to his normal, large headed, feline-like figure. He moved forward, cutlass in hand, followed by Skull, Panther, and Joker. Oracle and Queen stayed back, surveying the fight.

"Two Kodamas. They're weak to fire!" Queen called out, her hands on Oracle's shoulders.

"Don't worry, I got this!" Skull started to stretch, shifting his shoulders up and down, cracking his knuckles. He walked up to one of the Kodamas and swung as hard as he could with his pipe. The Kodama moved backwards, causing Skull to fall flat on his butt. Mona stifled a snorting chuckle. "How pathetic!" he said to himself. Loud enough that Joker turned around to give Mona a look. Mona just turned his nose up at him in arrogance.

The twin partner to the other Kodama wound up and cast Devil Touch on Skull. The paper-like hands of the demon touched Skull's head, inflicting fear on him. Mona clutched his fuzzy stomach in laugher. "He's so useless! Why is he a Phantom Thief, anyway?!" Joker shot him another look.

"Don't be afraid. I'm here for you!" Panther broke out a large paper fan and slapped Skull's cheek, breaking him out of the spell. "Th-thanks," he blushed, getting up off the ground and back into his battle stance. Panther shared a look with him and smiled. "Alright, let's finish this! Carmen!" Panther's Persona appeared from behind her, using her whip to restrain the 2 Kodamas, lighting them ablaze. Their bodies singed up quickly, ending the fight.

That Lady Ann, Mona thought. She's amazing. She's way too good to be anywhere near stupid Skull. Joker had already taken off, running in his usual circle in victory. Mona turned himself back into his normal van, the other thieves getting back in. Noir and Panther got into the middle row, buckling in their seatbelt, Skull being the last to get in. Mona revved his engine and pushed on the gas pedal, causing Skull to lurch forward and smash his face against the back of the front row of seats. "Mona, what the hell! I know you did that on purpose!" Skull yelled at him. "Maybe you should buckle your seatbelt next time, idiot!" Mona barked back. Joker took out his phone and wrote something to Queen, showing it to her.

"Alright, you two. Settle down." Queen ordered. "Skull, how about we take a drive? Get things to cool down. ...Mona, open the door." Mona obeyed Queen's orders. With both Queen and Skull leaving the van, Queen summoned her motorized Persona Johanna.

"C'mon, Skull. We need to talk." Queen got on top of Johanna and patted the spot next to her. Skull knew better than to question his advisor, so he sat down behind her as they took off. As they drove off, Queen's hands on the bars, she looked ahead and just said: "You need to relax with Mona."

"I didn't do anything to that stupid cat! He's the one pissing me off!"

"That may be true, but we can't afford to lose him again. He's too valuable of an asset to our team."

"Oh yeah." Skull rolled his eyes sarcastically. "Because he's such a goddamn important to our team. Where would we be without his wiseass comments? What a damn charmer."

"I'm not going to give everyone rides through Mementos. Oracle's not going to fully understand what happens ever deeper in the Metaverse. And we can say goodbye to our real-world spying and our calling card anonymity."

Ryuji groaned, holding the sides of Joanna. "So what, do I give him a free pass to be a jerk to me? I didn't do anything to him, other than date Panther!"

"You can at least try to be considerate. Imagine if Joker was dating Panther, knows you also like her, but continues to kiss her in your presence." Queen shot him a look out of the corner of her eye. "What would you do?"

"I'd be pissed off!" Skull tried to punch his palm, but almost fell off of Johanna, so just regained his balance instead. "But at the same time, I'd try and talk it out with him. He's my bro, and I'd want to see him happy, but it would be pretty shitty if he didn't think about me being happy too..."

Queen stays silent. They zoomed past some turns when Skull said: "That's what I should do, isn't it?" He scoffed and spit on the ground. "Effin' cat..." he muttered.

"Fine, tomorrow I'll talk to him. I don't want him trying to break up the team just because of me and my smokin' hot girlfriend." Queen rolled her eyes, turning back around towards the Mona Van, which had pulled into the entrance. The rest of the crew was waiting for Queen and Skull to return. She slowed down, allowing Skull to get off. As soon as Skull met up with the rest of them, Mona started moving towards the entrance, followed by the rest of anyone else.

"Hey Mona!" Skull yelled out, his hands in his pockets. The rest of their team drew their eyes to the pair. Mona didn't look at Skull. "What."

"I gotta talk to you later, privately. Lemme know what time is good to hang out."

Morgana mumbled under his breath. "Let's go, Joker." He exited Mementos, Joker following not far behind.

Afterwards, Ren was walking out of the Yongen station when Morgana popped his head out of Ren's bag, Ryuji's question clearly making him seethe. "The nerve of that pathetic monkey! I wanna talk to you. How dare he! What if I don't wanna talk to you, rotten thug! What if I'm tired of you being stupid and useless?!"

Ren glanced over at Morgana. "Then share your knowledge with him."

Morgana scoffed. Like Ryuji deserved his knowledge. "I dunno why you use him, anyway. He misses and gets hit all the time! And then begs me to waste my precious SP!"

Ren took off his glasses to clean them, since they had been rinsed with angry cat spit. "Are you sure this has nothing to do with Ann dating Ryuji and not you?"

"Wh-This has nothing at all to do with Lady Ann!" His furry cheeks flushed, his whiskers twitching.

"You at least should see what Ryuji has to say. You've been pretty rough on him, especially today."

"But it's his own fault!" Morgana meowed, attracting some looks from pedestrians.

Ren hushed down his voice. "Well, maybe he wants to apologize. We don't know. Maybe Makoto finally knocked some sense into his skull."

"You know how persuasive she can be." Ren chuckled, knowing the extra meaning behind what he said. "Can I text Ryuji?" Morgana went back into his bag. "Psh, whatever. Maybe I'll spare some time for the kid."

"I'm glad you can pencil him in," he said, tapping on his phone.

[Ryuji]

Morgana says he has time after school.  
Is the roof a good place?

Sure man. Sounds cool.  
I'm sorry you're in the middle of this.

It's cool, bro.  
Catch you later.

Ren put his phone away. "Sounds like you have a date." Ren smirked.

"Whatever you say.", the murmuring came from Ren's bag. Ren truly believed at that moment that cats, even black ones, can indeed have facial expressions.

Morgana was quiet and passive aggressive to Ren for the rest of the evening. Class went on like normal, mostly Morgana just napping in the desk and keeping quiet instead of helping him in class. Morgana always knew how to let you know he was upset. Ren's phone buzzed quietly, and he flipped his phone out.

[Queen]

How's Morgana?

I thought you shouldn't text in class, Makoto. ;)

I finished my quiz earlier. I have time to spare.

Ryuji's really exhausting to listen to, by the way.

You're telling me.

Morgana's been giving me silent treatment since last night.

But they're planning to talk after school

On the rooftop

Good.  
Let me know if anything happens.

The bell rang quickly after, Morgana retreating into Ren's bag. He groaned, knowing what was coming next. "Do I have to go…?"

Ren replied curtly. "A gentleman always sticks to his word." he wagged his finger at Morgana. "Ugh, way to use my own words against me." Ren walked through the doors to the roof to see Ryuji, leaning against the desk, looking over at Haru's garden.

"Hey." He waved to Ren.

Morgana jumped out of the bag as soon as he heard Ryuji's voice. "Okay, let's just get this over with."

Tch. Still has a chip on his shoulder, thought Ryuji. Ren left not long after, with a loud clicking sound behind him. Was that...?! Ryuji's eyes widened.

"What the hell?!" Ryuji ran up and shook the doorknob, trying to get it to move at all. But it was no use. He was stuck up there with...him. That effin' cat. Ryuji pounded on the door! "Let me out! This is bullshit!" He yelled.

"Wow, you weren't kidding about this," Makoto said, looking at her boyfriend, who was jangling a set of keys. Ren smiled, a somewhat tired look on his face. "They need this more than they realize."

"Would you stop yelling like you always do and just say what you came to say?" Morgana licked his own paw, scratching himself behind his ear. Ryuji shook his fist "Don't you get it?! The bastards locked us out here! We're stuck with each other! Dammit, this isn't cool, assholes!" Morgana's eyes shot open.

"Hey! Lemme out!" Morgana ran over to the door and started clawing at it. "I don't wanna be with this idiot for a minute longer! Hey!"

Ryuji kicked at the ground. "It's no use, man. They already left with the key."

"Tch, doesn't mean I have to talk to you."

"Man, you're so effin' stupid. They're not gonna let us out until we stop fighting! That's actually what I wanted to talk to you about."

Morgana looked over to Ryuji. This better be good, he thought.

"You gotta stop pickin' so many fights with me!"

"And you gotta stop being so stupid and useless!" Share some of your wisdom, Ren's words echoed in Morgana's mind. "...And stop dying your hair to such a rude color! And learn to dodge!"

"Hey, how I dye my hair is my effin' business, _cat_!"

"Don't call me a cat!" Morgana hissed.

Ryuji sunk his hands in his pockets, glaring at Morgana. "Then quit singling me out! I haven't done anything wrong to you!"

Morgana smirked. "Besides being useless?"

"You're such a pain, asshole cat!"

"Call me a cat again. I dare you!" Morgana was ready to pounce on him.

Ryuji and Morgana stared each other down. He was glaring, looking directly into Morgana's nasty little blue eyes. He wasn't sure what Morgana would do, but at this point, he really didn't care. Whatever Morgana had up his sleeve, Ryuji was ready to call his bluff.

Morgana stared up at the giant blonde idiot that was in front of him. He had had all he could take of this nuisance. If he uttered another word, Morgana was gonna pounce. He was just waiting for his cue.

"Bossy, pushy, worthless, delusional, pathetic, miserable, rotten cat!"

"That's it!" Morgana jumped as high as he could, landing on the yellow star of Ryuji's shirt, extending his claws. He began slashing at Ryuji's shirt. He left tatters in his shirt, and started to go for his chest and face. "I'll show you pushy, moron!" Ryuji winced and yelped. "Get the hell…!" He grabbed Morgana's back and ripped him off of his chest. Ryuji wound up and threw Morgana as hard as he could, "Auugh!" he grunted with exertion. Morgana went flying, colliding into a pot, landing back first into the dirt of one of Haru's plots.

"Grr...that hurt…" Morgana got up, trying to shake the dirt off of his fur.

" _That_ hurt? You effin' cut me, psycho!"

"I told you I don't like being called a cat…" Morgana muttered, shaking his fur off some more.

"You've got such an easy button! Cat cat cat cat cat!" Ryuji barked it at him, almost looking unaffected by Morgana's scratches.

"Ugh, pathetic!" Morgana sat up, dramatically amused at Ryuji's teasing. "It'll take a lot more than that to make me mad!"

"You're the most sensitive person in the group!"

Morgana stayed silent. Ryuji was ready to break out the big guns.

"You really wanna goddamn do this, Morgana?"

Morgana stared down Ryuji. "Bring it on, Monkey."

"Ann doesn't love you. She doesn't even see you as a possible boyfriend!"

Mona felt a shattering noise in his chest. "Th-that's not true! You're a terrible liar, and a terrible everything else..!"

"You never had a shot with her, and it's about time you owned up to it."

"That's a lie! Lady Ann thinks I'm noble and handsome!"

"You want proof?" Ryuji digs into his pocket to get out his phone. "She said it to me the other day."

"How do I know you haven't faked those?"

Ryuji just groaned. "I wouldn't know how to, man!" He started scrolling through his texts to look for his smoking gun. "Here, I found it!"

[Ann]

Hahahah yeah

Do you notice when Morgana hits on you? He does it a lot.

No way, really?  
I never noticed!

He bends over fucking backwards for you.  
You seriously never noticed? For real?

Of course not!  
I couldn't see Morgana that way.  
He's like a little kitty!

What if he was a human?

Ew, no way. He's like a little brother to me!

Besides, you know I could only love you, Ryuji 3

Morgana looked at the phone with a look of panic on his face. H-he faked it! It can't be true! He didn't want it to be true. "L-Lady Ann..." he lamented, his ears drooping.

He always saw his future with her. That no matter what happened, she would learn how he felt, and feel the same way too. That they would be together like King and Queen in the end. He never thought about if she wasn't interested in him. It just didn't seem possible! But it was, right there, on Ryuji's flickering phone. Written with her delicate fingers. Ew, no way. No way. There's nothing more confirming than that. Morgana turned away from the phone and lied down, in as close to a fetal position as his cat body would allow.

"I...don't know what to say." Morgana was nearly silent.

"I-I'm sorry." Ryuji put his phone away, looking away. Morgana sniffled, looking away from Ryuji, trying not to cry. "Lady Ann…" he muttered to himself.

Ryuji stared down at his shoes. Maybe it hadn't been the best idea to unleash that. It was a bit too rough. He sat down on the ground next to Morgana, who was sniffling. He started to pet him, stroking Morgana's fur gently. "I...I shouldn't have done that. I'm sorry."

"N-no, I needed to see that." Morgana muttered, He always thought Ryuji would be rough with his fur, but this...it felt nice.

Ryuji perked up. "But you know…! Ann's not the only human out there. You'll find your girl someday. Somebody just as pretty!" Morgana moved his head around. "Yeah...I guess."

"I'm serious! What about Haru? She's a human that already thinks you're the effin' coolest! I mean, who was by her side when she needed it the most?"

"Me…?"

"Damn right! ...You're a noble guy, man. And you don't have to bend over backwards for Ann anymore. You can be you and impress a girl who'd actually wanna date you!" ...Would anybody actually date a cat?, Ryuji thought. Eh, better than nothing.

Morgana looked over at Ryuji, his eyes bloodshot with tears. "You think so…?"

Ryuji had never seen a cat cry before, damn. He grinned, flexing his arm. "Hell yeah! You might be mean to me sometimes, but you're a good guy overall." Morgana smiled back at him.

"I'm….sorry I'm rough on you too much. I guess I never thought you were good enough for Lady Ann. But. If she's happy being your girlfriend, and if you make her happy...then I suppose you are good enough." Morgana stood up, making Ryuji's hand recoil. "But, if you ever make her cry...I'm still a gentleman, and I won't hesitate to strike you down!"

Ryuji chuckled. Is this what Joker normally goes through? "Okay, I promise to treat her right."

"You better!" Morgana hissed, sitting back down, closer to Ryuji. "I'm glad she's happy, though." Ryuji started to pet Morgana more, gently scratching behind his ear. Morgana nuzzled into his hand. "You're pretty good at this."

"Yeah, well. I don't have pets, but there is a cat that hangs around my building. He likes hanging out with me."

"Remind me to thank him later." Morgana snickered.

Ryuji chuckled, sitting back and taking his phone out.

[Joker]

Hey bro? I think you can unlock the door now. Me and Morgana are cool.

Are you sure?

Hell yeah, man. Morgana's sitting with me now.  
He likes my petting technique.

Wow, really?  
He wouldn't ever let me pet him.  
Alright, just a second...

Ryuji heard a loud clicking sound by the door. Ren walked through to see the scene laid before him. "Heh, you weren't kidding."

"I told you, bro!" Ryuji chuckled.

Ren noticed the claw marks in Ryuji's shirt. "A-are you okay? You look like you're bleeding."

"Pff, this? I'll be fine. Ann'll patch me up later. Don't worry about it!" Ryuji bared his teeth in a grin. He completely forgot about the tears in his shirt, and the scratches on his cheek until Ren brought it up.

Ren rolled his eyes. He's gonna seriously hurt himself one of these days. "Ready to go home, Morgana?" Ren opened up his bag. Morgana got up and hopped in, his head peeking out. "Good talk, Skull. I'll...I'll see you around." he smiled. Ryuji returned the smile. "You too. See ya later." That cat wasn't such a bad cat after all.


End file.
